Flirting Style Influences Your Romantic Relationship
The researchers have discovered that there are five different flirting style people use when they communicate with ones they are romantically interested in. The flirting styles are traditional, physical, playful, sincere, and polite. Each type of approaches has different outcomes and benefits. For example the women say that they do not find the polite approach pretty flattering, as they can barely recognize that they are getting hit on, and that the same happens when they use this approach as well. Jeffrey Hall, who is an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, and who was the leader of the study, stated that one of the biggest problems for people when it comes to flirting is the fact that they do not send a clear message.
Most of them would like to make the person who they are interested in, that they are interested in being more than a friend. Unfortunately they do not send this message successfully, and they are labeled as friends. He said that flirting is a science, and that if he would be able to find out everything behind each style, then people could understand where this is going, and what to do next. He said that people could avoid doing the same mistakes over and over again. According to him, the best thing men and women should do, is to mix these flirting styles, in order to be more successful. He believes that each person has a certain flirting style, and it can be very difficult to replace it with a new one. Mixing it up with a different one, on the other hand, might be something else.
Hall and his colleagues chose more than 5,000 people from an online dating website, and had them answer a questionnaire regarding to the way in which they flirt, about their personality, and about their former flirting experiences. They had to answer 26 questions, ranging from Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree in order to reveal their flirting style. The study is pretty conclusive, as people who strongly agreed with “men should make the first move” are more likely to be traditional when it comes to flirting. The people who do not take flirting too serious, have most likely answered the statement “flirting is just for fun, people don’t need to be so serious” with strongly agree. A polite person would have most likely answered the statement “people should be cautious when letting someone know they are interested” with strongly agree, as they are very serious, and concerned about their actions when talking to the person they are interested in.
The test has revealed the fact that the physical and the playful types are more extrovert than the other types. The traditional types have been associated with neuroticism. A physical flirt would be represented by such statements as “I am good at showing my sexual interest”. A sincere flirt would be represented by the statement “I really enjoy learning about another person’s interests.” A people who uses this technique will have no problem in declaring their intentions from the spot, for them is everything or nothing, because they know that they do not lose anything if they get rejected. It has been discovered that most of the women are traditional flirters, and because of this they have a really tough job when it comes to approaching a man, and when it comes to make sure that the men understand that they are interested in them.
They also stated that there are cases when the men mistook their actions and considered them to be sexually when they weren’t. The researchers have also stated that the men who are traditional will never flirt with another woman, if they are in a relationship. They will wait until their relationship ends, and only then they will find it suitable to approach a different woman. The physical people are different than that, as they do not have any troubles when it comes to approaching certain people, and the people respond to the flirting in a flattering manner. The playful flirters had no troubles when it came to approaching other people either, but people considered them to flirt even when they didn’t do it.
The polite flirt is connected to the nonsexual communication and on the proper manners, and because of this it is one of the most unsuccessful types of flirting. The researchers have found out that these people have very strong relationships, even if they rarely approach a person, and if they consider flirting as being a very daunting task. Hall said that if we know what kind of flirters we are then we could become more successful in the skill of dating, and of having a partner. He believes that if we know the manner in which we communicate with the others, we might realize the mistakes we make, and we might be able to control them, and change them. He said that we could analyze the different styles and try to combine them, and see how it works, and what the outcome will be. People should use these styles in order to increase the probabilities for their relationship to survive. He said that it is easier to do such a thing, as we all have all of these flirting styles in us, all we need to do is increase or decrease the amount of time we use them.11